The Sweatshirt Situation, Part II

.....a new sweater!  He did NOT wear the red hoodie!  I almost keeled over from the shock.  What's more, I won the bet!  Carlos now owes me a diet coke.

I breathe a sigh of relief and think, maybe now everything will return to normal.  While the mystery of why he wore the same sweatshirt everyday was not solved, at least it was over.



Until the following day.


That's right.  Seth showed up the next day, removed his coat, and there it was.  The bright red hoodie of torment.  I couldn't disguise the look of horror on my face, as my ears filled with the Twilight Zone tune.  The hoodie continued it's comeback again on Thursday, but Friday, Friday Seth was taking us all out to lunch as a belated Christmas celebration.

Would he wear it to that?  I mean, that's sort of a thing; one would probably dress a little nicer on a day such as that.  The night before, I lay in sleepless wonder....what would happen tomorrow?  If he did wear it, would that be the final straw?  Would I then finally have to say something? No, I couldn't! Could I? No!

Friday morning.  Sitting in The Corner of Despair.  If I chewed my nails, they'd be destroyed right about now. The clock ticks....I wait....here he comes!

In slow motion, Seth removes his coat to once more reveal, NOT the hoodie!

BUT!

It WAS the same sweater he wore the last time he didn't wear the hoodie.  A pattern emerges!

And then, the most amazing thing happens.  Something I was completely unprepared for.

Seth acknowledges the Sweatshirt Situation.

On one of his many cigarette breaks (he takes one every hour), Seth puts his coat on and makes to pull out a phantom hood from the collar.  But of course, there is no hood as he did not wear the sweatshirt on this day.

To my utter astonishment, he says: "Oh, ha!  I'm so used to wearing the sweatshirt, I automatically went to pull the hood out! Hahaha!"

"Ha. Ha. Ha," I manage, robotically.

"Yeah," Seth continues, "I've been wearing it a lot because it's so easy. It's just there on the chair and I just throw it on.  But today, this sweater was on the chair too, and I thought since we're going out to eat I should wear something a little nicer."

I nod, confirming this idea to be well-founded.  I am unable to really contribute to the convo, as I am not sure what I should say. Do I admit to noticing the sweatshirts' consistent appearance? Or play dumb?  I have no precedent for this!

And then Seth lands the clincher:

"Also I thought you might kill me if I wore that sweatshirt one more day, HAHAHA!"

....what? Did he...know??  Could he read my mind? Or was my confusion and distaste written all over my face, unbeknownst to me?  Again, I had no idea how to respond to this, so I just didn't, other than another robotic laugh, "Ha. Ha. Ha." And with that I turned to my computer, and Seth went out for his smoke.

Come Monday, the hoodie of course returned.  But now the mystery was solved.  Now I knew it was pure laziness that kept it coming back.

Things changed, Seth began rotating the hoodie with the sweater, and life carried on.

One day, Seth wears an entirely new sweatshirt.  It is identical to the red hoodie, except in color.  This hoodie is white.  At first it seems there will now be a 3-article rotation, but alas, such is not the case.  The white hoodie takes the lead, and has now been worn for 8 days straight.  But I just can't care any longer.


The other day, another excuse:

"All of my other sweaters are all the way in the closet, and all stacked up...(why is this suddenly a striking issue? Have not your clothes always lived in a closet?  How have you gotten this far in life, having to always trudge ALL THE WAY over to your closet, only to then have to PULL A SWEATER FROM A STACKED PILE?!?) ....


...And also, I have mice in my closet again.  I am afraid if I pull a new sweater out, it will have mice poop on it."