Lunchtime for Seth!

He comes out of his office and puts on coat, gloves, hood, and earmuffs over the hood, but then heads into the bathroom instead of leaving.

Coming out of the bathroom with two paper towels, I hear him mumble to himself,  "oh, I need one for my eyes..." 

"What's wrong?" I ask, kicking msyelf for engaging him.

"Nothings wrong, I'm just talking to myself!"

Ok, great, maybe it'll end here!

ha!  In the immortal words of Alicia Silverstone, "As if.".

He comes back out of his office, and explains:

"I've started carrying around paper towels with me when I go outside for when my eyes water from the cold(paper towel for your eyes? Ouch.  Maybe invest in those little kleenex packs.  Just sayin').  But lately I've been seeing lots of bottle caps on the ground, so I pick them up, (Seth collects the points Coca-Cola offers on caps, and cardboard cases) but you know, they're all gross and wet (WHAT?! I am shocked.) so I wrap them in the paper towels, and then I dont have one for my eyes anymore (Oh dear.  Yes, I see your predicament.  horrible.)!  So I went into the bathroom to get paper towels (for his half a block walk to get a slice of pizza), and while I was in there I thought I might as well pee (Yeah, you've got a long journey ahead of you, and there are no rest stops between here and the bodega half a block down the road).  So ya know, I peed, washed my hands, tossed the paper towel (thank you SO MUCH for this thrilling play-by-play!  Now could you re-enact it in slow motion as well? Excellent.), and as I was coming back out, I realized I forgot the paper towels that I had originally gone in there for! hahaha!(Oh my god! I do that ALL the time at Target! HAHAHA!)  So, it was just the 50-year-old-man mumblings you heard. Ok, I'll be back"

And off he went to get his slice of pizza, leaving me thinking,

"That story is bullshit.  He never washes his hands after peeing."